HW for 3/7: Revising Diagnostic & Linking Sentences

1. For 10 points, use the PRE handout to revise your Unified Paragraph: Diagnostic assignment:

• With a printed copy of your work, diagram the paragraph by marking each sentence with P, R, or E.

• Then, use the questions on the handout to edit your printed paragraph:

• Reorganize sentences to fit PRE ordering
• Feel free to take sentences out

• Then, type up your revised paragraph. 

• Save your revision as a Word file (.doc or .docx)

• Then,  color-code paragraph, just like the blog post examples:

• P=green
• R=dark yellow
• E=black

• Once you have finished identifying each sentence as P, R, or E...

• Upload your revised Unified Paragraph: Diagnostic to Canvas. The assignment is named "Revised Unified Paragraph: Diagnostic"

2. Next class, we will focus on another strategy, Linking Sentences, for creating paragraph unity. Below are the notes for that lesson, as well as other unity considerations

Linking Sentences

• Have a topic sentence, of course! (In all college essays, this will be a duh! strategy)
• Here are two (2) ways to create greater sentence-to-sentence clarity by repeating or restating key words & word groups:

• Subject: ______?
• Object: ______?

1.      Maintain the same subject in the next sentence. 

Example: Klein writes that, “The cost of youth unemployment is not only financial, but also emotional” (A25). Klein’s argument may not expand on the kind of emotional tolls not having a job can cause, but … 

2.      Turn the object of the previous sentence into the subject of the next sentence.

Example:
 Klein writes that, “The cost of youth unemployment is not only financial, but also emotional” (A25). The emotional cost of unemployment that Klein references could include the creation of a high number of severely depressed citizens who devalue of education.  The high number of depression is a likely outcome for those largely taught that things such as one’s job define individual worth. If one has no job for which to define their worth …

Other Linking Strategies

•  Avoid standalone pronouns (especially weak to start sentences): “This, That, These, Those, It”

• Only use if you attach these pronouns to modifiers, such as “these pronouns” or “These phrases…”, or “This belief…,” or “Those reasons for…”  The extra, more specific word or phrase can clarify what the “these” or “this” or “those” or “that” is referring to from the last sentence!

• Avoid “It” altogether. It=Ebay!!!  Besides harming coherence of a paragraph, careless writers often do the following without being critical of his or her language:

• The word "it" as subject often causes a writer to digress from original subject in the sentences that follow

• The word "it" is used in one sentence to mean two different things (very confusing--writer is lazy and implying meaning with such language)

• The word "it" is used in one paragraph to mean two more more things (subjects). 

• "it" can refer to either the subject OR the object of the previous sentence, which is bad, bad, bad. All of us as writers need pronouns to have a clear reference (a clear antecedent).

• Use Transitional Devices (Seagull, 23-25):  words and phrases whose specific function in the sentence is to link one sentence (or independent clause/complete thought) to the last, or to the next one.  Such words give the reader “location” or “position” of how to read a sentence. Study the list on Purdue’s OWL site and use these transitional devices every time you write.